I walked yesterday morning in cold weather for the first time this season. Not that it hasn’t been nippy in the mornings but this time the snow was squeeky, a sure sign that it was somewhere around zero degrees, the air was crisp and my cheeks were pink and cold when I got back. I walked alone since Gail was out of town. I was alone with my thoughts and it was a good place to be. It has been a year since my mom died, her favorite sheep joined her this week , Laura had been in town for the weekend and my son Sam was in the hospital on Tuesday having surgery on his broken collar bone. There was a lot to process.
The morning sunrise was red, the age old warning of weather to come, but I like to see it as a promise of change. As I walked I found myself finally letting go of mom, the first year was over, the time of doing everything for the first time without her was past. It truly feels like an end to an era. Time for change. Laura was here for family holiday. My 5 siblings were all in town and sitting around the table for Thanksgiving, a week late. We had the turkey and all the trimmings, mom’s favorite holiday. I think it was the first time we were all together since she died. Again a new place to be. Sam fell skiing on Saturday and had been through 4 days of intense pain before the surgery. He has just moved home from Montana and was in the beginnings of starting his own business, Mountain View Fence and Snow Removal, now his plans are put aside for a time. He needs time to heal and maybe time to work on that business plan. Again, change in his forecast.
In the meantime I’m trying to not get too caught up in doing Christmas and looking for ways to be in the Christmas mood. Walking helps to balance me, puts things into perspective. I’m thankful everyday that I can be outside. It’s where change finds it’s way into my life.